


I was made to keep your body warm

by storiesthatmakeus



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Love, M/M, Pillow Talk, Regret, Scars, a little angsty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-03
Updated: 2018-02-03
Packaged: 2019-03-13 04:23:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,712
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13562727
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/storiesthatmakeus/pseuds/storiesthatmakeus
Summary: Robert and Aaron spend their first night together after their reunion, but Robert struggles with the guilt over the scars he's put on Aaron's body. Can Aaron reassure him that he loves him?For Dairxoxo





	I was made to keep your body warm

**Author's Note:**

> So the lovely Dairxoxo left me a really sweet message and it inspired me to write this one shot :)
> 
> Not based on any spoilers but could be something that does happen on screen (but probs not)
> 
> Wrote this quite quickly so any errors are mine sorry! Hope you like it xx

They were taking it slowly this time around, going on proper dates and everything. It had been two tentative weeks since Aaron had chased Robert down in the rain and kissed the life out of him like something out of one of his mum’s cheesy romance novels, and so far, with the exception of Liv threatening to castrate Robert at every given opportunity, there had been no major hiccups. Robert had taken all her snide remarks with patience, knowing full well that it would take time for her to come around after everything, but so far, nothing had burst their bubble.

Even Chas and Paddy had relented somewhat quickly, helped in no small part by Robert’s endless apologies and the fact that it was painfully obvious how happy Aaron was now. He had overheard them whispering one night as they watched him and Robert in the pub, rabbiting on about how Aaron had never smiled like that with Alex, and though he felt a flash of guilt for the way he treated the doctor, he willingly admitted that they were right.

They were a lot more comfortable now in public, sitting practically on top of each other in the pub or the café, as if they couldn’t get close enough after all their time apart. Robert always had one arm slung protectively around Aaron, and they were more open with their little displays of affection, pressing quick kisses to each other’s lips or cheeks whenever the moment called for it, which was often.

 

Neither of them had broached the topic of sex yet, but Aaron was no longer willing to wait, and judging by the hesitation on Robert’s face every time he walked Aaron home and kissed him goodnight, he wanted more as well, but Aaron could tell that he was happy not to push, unwilling to risk Aaron’s unhappiness.

He knew he had to make the first move, and he did, pulling Robert back by the hand one night as he rose from his seat on the couch, untangling himself from Aaron’s legs before slipping on his leather jacket.

‘’Stay.’’ Aaron said softly, a fire lit inside him at the flicker of hope on Robert’s face.

‘’You mean that?’’

‘’Yea, I want you to wake up here tomorrow.’’

‘’Okay well, I can sleep on the couch...’’

‘’No.’’

‘’No?’’

‘’I want you to stay…with me.’’ Aaron said quietly but confidently, his gaze drifting up to the stairs, hoping Robert would take the hint, which he apparently did, if the look of amazement on his face was any indication.

‘’Are you sure?’’

‘’Robert, I want you. All of you.’’

‘’I want all of you too.’’

Robert’s voice was quiet, and he still looked a bit hesitant, so Aaron took decisive action. Closing the space between them in two strides, he slipped his hand into Robert’s, giving it a reassuring squeeze and getting a soft but illuminating smile from the man opposite him in return as he followed him up the stairs.

They stripped each other slowly, and Aaron couldn’t help but savour every touch that Robert placed on his body as he slowly removed his hoodie and then his t-shirt. His eyes closed, he was unable to stifle his moans as Robert pressed kisses all along his jaw, trailing his lips down Aaron’s neck and collarbone, his breath hot against Aaron’s skin. It was a sensation he had committed to memory, back when that was all he thought Robert could ever be in the future, just a memory. Now though, as Robert kissed every inch of skin he could reach, Aaron realised that the fragments of his touch that he had locked away in his head would never do the reality of this feeling justice.

He was on the edge of making his feelings on Robert’s mouth clear when he felt it, or rather, a lack of _it_. Robert had dropped to his knees, and Aaron could feel his nimble fingers on his belt buckle, but the warm, soft touch of his lips on Aaron’s skin had disappeared, and he felt an instant ache at the loss of contact. Opening his eyes slowly, he risked a glance down and was puzzled to see Robert still on his knees, just staring at Aaron’s stomach.

‘’Robert?’’

Robert continued to stare at Aaron’s stomach, seemingly oblivious to his name being spoken aloud.

‘’Robert, look at me.’’ Aaron tried again, his voice louder this time.

It had the desired effect, as Robert pulled his gaze away and glanced up at him, tears brimming in his eyes. Before Aaron could say anything, Robert looked away again, and as Aaron felt the soft touch of his finger rubbing a patch of skin on his stomach, his heart dropped when he realised what had caused Robert to suddenly pull away.

‘’Rob…’’

‘’They’re still a little red, even after all these months.’’ Robert murmured from his position on the floor, and Aaron felt a shudder underneath him as Robert pulled himself up quickly, grabbing his clothes and pulling them on haphazardly as he made his way to the door. Luckily, Aaron was quicker, and he was in front of him in seconds, blocking his exit.

‘’Don’t run away from me, please.’’

‘’Let me go Aaron.’’

‘’Why?’’

‘’So I don’t hurt you again, or do something to make you hurt yourself.’’

‘’You won’t.’’

‘’You don’t know that.’’

‘’You’re right, I don’t. But I do know that we promised each other that we’d be in this together from now on. So talk to me Robert, please.’’

Robert sighed softly, and Aaron took that as agreement. He released his grip on the door once he knew Robert wasn’t about to bolt and perched on the edge of the bed. He tried not to let his hurt show when Robert didn’t sit next to him, instead choosing a spot on the floor opposite Aaron, propping himself up against the wall as he lowered himself down.

Aaron waited patiently as the silence between them dragged on, knowing it was up to Robert to speak first, but so far, the other man was refusing to meet his gaze, instead fixing his eyes on the floor. Eventually, just as Aaron was on the brink of saying something, anything to break the heavy quiet, Robert lifted his eyes and locked them with Aaron’s.

‘’I’m sorry.’’

‘’I know you are, but I think this house has heard enough apologies now, don’t you?’’ Aaron replied softly.

‘’I’ll never be able to apologise enough.’’

‘’You already have.’’

‘’But I was supposed to be the one who protected you from pain like this, and I let you down.’’

‘’Robert…’’

‘’It’s true. All I’ve ever wanted was to make sure you never felt the need to do this to yourself, and then I go and become the very reason you do it. I did this to you.’’

‘’No, you didn’t, not really.’’

‘’Aaron, don’t try and make me feel better.’’

‘’I’m not I’m being honest. Did you put the blade in my hand?’’

‘’No, of course not.’’

‘’Then you didn’t do this to me. I did it to myself, because I wasn’t able to separate the thoughts in my head. It was overwhelming, and I was scared of losing you, of not being able to cope with the baby, everything. I got a release the only way I knew how to at the time.’’

‘’But I was your husband Aaron, and I didn’t even see that you were cutting yourself to shreds.’’

‘’No, but that’s only because I was good at hiding it, not because you were a bad husband.’’

‘’But…’’

‘’Would you have said Marlon was a bad husband for not noticing Laurel’s drinking earlier, or Moira a bad mum for not getting to Holly before she died?’’ Aaron interjected.

‘’No, of course not. They didn’t know how bad things were. They were trying their best.’’

‘’Exactly. You’re no different Robert. We both lied to each other about how we were feeling, but I don’t blame you for these scars, and I don’t want you to blame yourself either.’’

‘’But…’’

‘’Yea?’’

‘’I just don’t understand how you can even want me back in your bed after all the pain I put you through.’’

‘’Because I love you.’’

‘’You make it sound so simple.’’

‘’It’s not, but if I wanted simple I never would have answered your call out all those years ago.’’ Aaron replied lightly, and his heart fluttered when he saw the small smile his comment elicited from Robert. The smile disappeared almost instantly though, and Aaron could tell by the way the other man chewed on his lip what he was thinking.

‘’You’re nothing like him Robert.’’

‘’He was a man who was supposed to look after you, and you were afraid of him. He hurt you and you nearly died when he came back.’’ Aaron saw the flickering in Robert's eyes as he clearly relived the moment Aaron collapsed in his arms at the scrap yard, and he ached for him. 

‘’Yea.’’ Aaron agreed. ‘’I was afraid of him, and he didn’t love me like he should have. But you…I was never afraid of you, only afraid of losing you.’’

‘’Aaron…’’

‘’Remember when we got married? I said I loved you so much I didn’t know what to do with it? When we broke up, everything was a mess, and I was in pain, but that love never went away.’’

‘’I just…I want you to be better Aaron, and I’m scared I’ll hurt you again.’’

‘’I am better now. I’m not just surviving anymore Robert, I’m living, actually living a life, and I want you to be in that life with me.’’

‘’Do you still love me like you did before?’’ Robert asked shyly, and Aaron felt his chest clench up as his heartbeat quickened. He wasn’t entirely sure how to answer Robert’s question, but suddenly an idea came to him.

‘’Can I…I just want to try something, okay?’’

‘’Okay…’’

Aaron dropped down off the edge of the bed and onto his knees, straddling Robert’s thighs. The carpet was doing nothing to help him be more comfortable, but he didn’t care. Gesturing for Robert to sit up properly, he gently grabbed the hem of Robert’s shirt and after getting a nod of agreement, slowly unbuttoned it and tugged it off the man opposite him. Leaning forward slowly, he placed a gentle kiss to the scar that lived over Robert’s chest; a constant reminder of how close Aaron had come to losing him once. He placed his hand over Robert’s heart, and he could hear it beating steadily underneath his touch.

‘’When you thought this was me, did it…?’’ Aaron began softly, his eyes fixed on Robert’s.

‘’No.’’

‘’You don’t even know what I was about to say.’’

‘’No Aaron, it didn’t make me love you any less.’’ Robert replied without Aaron even having to ask the question, and he was floored that Robert could still read him so well after so many months apart. ‘’But that’s not the same thing. You didn’t do this to me.’’

‘’And you didn’t do this to me. Yes, what you did played a part in how I was feeling at the time, but I chose to do it, and my love for you didn’t change once either.’’

‘’I wish you had done it to me instead.’’

‘’What, cut you open?’’

Robert nodded slowly.

‘’How would that have helped?’’

‘’Because you wouldn’t have had to hurt yourself then.’’

‘’I still would have hurt myself. Doing that to you, it would have caused me pain too. I want to protect you too, you know.’’ Aaron answered softly, pressing a soft kiss to Robert’s temple as he continued to straddle him, and he took the answering sigh as a good sign.

‘’You do, I feel so safe with you Aaron.’’

‘’Then let me keep doing my job yea?’’

‘’I don’t know what to say now.’’ Robert admitted shyly, and it was possibly the only time Aaron had ever heard him freely reveal that he was lost for words.

‘’That’s okay, because I’ll talk. Robert, I love you. I’ve forgiven you for everything you’ve done. I’ve forgiven myself for things I’ve done and now I want to move on, together.’’

‘’But…’’

‘’Let me finish.’’ Aaron replied sternly, pressing a finger to Robert’s lips. ‘’These scars have left a mark on my body that I can’t get rid of, but you have left a mark on my heart that I wouldn’t even want to try and remove.’’

‘’When did you get so good with words?’’

‘’Maybe I always was, but just didn’t want to dent your ego by beating you at your own game.’’ Aaron said lightly, and he felt Robert’s belly sway underneath him as he laughed softly in response.

‘’So, what now?’’ Robert asked quietly as his laugh died away.

‘’I want you to kiss me like you love me.’’

‘’I don’t know how to do it any other way.’’

Aaron clambered off Robert’s legs, pulling himself up before extending a hand to Robert and lifting him easily off the floor as well. They were inches from each other now, but Aaron could still feel the other man’s hesitation. Taking a small step forward to completely close the gap, he wrapped his arms around Robert’s waist.

‘’It’s you and me.’’ Aaron whispered against Robert’s lips. He didn’t need to finish the sentence, he could tell by the way the other man’s mouth quirked up in a smile that he understood.

He felt Robert’s lips crush against his in an instant, warm and soft and filled with more confidence than before. He couldn’t help but smile through their kisses as Robert guided him protectively backwards onto the bed. He felt the tingles race up and down his body, the hairs on his neck sticking up as Robert pressed kisses to the fading scars on his stomach, taking extra time to linger over the freshest ones, as though trying to pour all the love he could into them, heal them in his own way, and if it was possible, Aaron fell even deeper in love with him in that moment.

Robert glanced up at him, love shining through his eyes, and Aaron felt his breath hitch as the bed dipped under him and Robert edged his way closer to him, peppering kisses all over his jaw.

‘’I love you.’’ He whispered into Robert’s ear softly.

‘’I love you more.’’

 

‘’Robert.’’ Aaron whispered into the darkness as they lay wrapped around each other later that night, his head pressed into the other man’s chest.

‘’Yea?’’

‘’Earlier…you said _was_.’’

‘’What?’’

‘’You said I _was_ your husband.’’ Aaron clarified, craning his neck to look into Robert’s eyes. ‘’Do you not see yourself as that anymore?’’ He asked, suddenly fearing the answer.

‘’Honestly? I don’t know.’’ Aaron dropped his gaze, but he instantly felt the other man’s fingers under his chin, bringing his eyes back up to meet Robert’s. ‘’That’s not a bad thing, it’s just I’m not really sure what to call us now, are you?’’

‘’I guess not.’’ Aaron admitted. ‘’I mean we could go back to being boyfriends…’’

‘’But that doesn’t feel right does it?’’ Robert asked knowingly.

‘’Seems too simple for what we have.’’ Aaron agreed. ‘’But we’re not engaged, so fiancés is out too.’’

‘’So…husbands?’’ Robert asked tentatively. ‘’Or is that diving into the deep end too quickly? What do you want us to be?’’

‘’No, this isn’t my decision. We figure this out together. I agree on the husbands thing too, maybe not just yet, although…’’

‘’What?’’

‘’I did quite like being called Mr. Sugden.’’ Aaron admitted with a small smile.

‘’Well I liked calling you that.’’ Robert replied with a flirtatious grin. ‘’So what about this? When it’s just us, we’re Mr. Sugden and Mr.Dingle, but to everyone else, we just say that I’m yours and you’re mine and that’s all that matters, for now anyway.’’

‘’Sounds good to me, Mr. Dingle.’’ Aaron smiled, leaning up to catch Robert’s lips in a soft kiss, before he snuggled deeper into his chest and began to drift off, happier than ever in the arms of the man who was just _his_.


End file.
